Body Language has long been the practical human language before the development of verbal languages. Studies have shown that in a fractions of a minute, we have scanned a number of critical physical features from head to toe to determine if a person is a friend or a foe. Even little clues such as how we balance our weight can tell an attribute about us without speaking. Making a vital positive first impression is key to developing any meaningful long term relationship. The following is five useful tips to help achieve better positive body language. With practice, these will become second nature over time.

1 and 2: Eye Contact and Smile

Eye contact and Smile is a winning pair. You cannot have eye contact without smile if you want to achieve a positive body language. Some may ask, if these are considered body languages since they express on the facial level? Yes they are. Eye contact is not just moving your eyes to make contact with another person’s eyes. To do so properly, turn your upper body at least more than 75% towards facing the person you want to make eye contact with. When you are able, also move your feet towards that person immediately. More about the feet in a later tip.

Smile while making eye contact is to indicate friendliness. Smile is not simply making a smile. It must be as genuine of a smile as you can. If you cannot produce a genuine smile, think about your other happy thoughts. For me, it would be coffee, ice-cream, and that beautiful road trip through mountains and ocean shores. Why the trouble? Our sophisticated brain in its sophisticated way can decipher down to the last facial muscle to determine if a smile is with meaning or fake. A neurologist has the answer to how to spot a true smile from a false imposed act.

3. Align your Neck Spinal Cord with your Body Spinal Cord

This may sound too “chiropractional” yet this is a essential part of keeping a positive body language. Too often we hear people say “straighten your back”. At this instance, most people would do so hoping they look more “up-lifted” and energetic. However, too often we would forget to mention lifting the head too. In a biological sense, your head and your back is essentially connected through ONE spinal cord. To genuinely look positive, energetic and engaging, both parts of your spinal body must be straight, or in more technical terms, aligned.

To achieve this muscle memory for your body, simply practice standing against the wall with both the back of your head and your back shoulder “glue” to a straight wall for 15 minutes everyday. Do so while you are watching TV, meditating, or relaxing. This exercise help you maintain a straighter back. Overtime it will aid aligning your spinal cord and return to a more proper alignment.

4. Turn your Feet Facing the Person you are Interacting with

Show the person you are interacting with that he/she has your full attention. This is not just positive body language. It is a common business etiquette that many business professionals recognize with. It also activates a “mirroring effect” in the other person. We have the tendency to mirror another person when they are in “closer proximity”. Good friends, siblings and couples often show mirroring effects. While they took an extensive time to achieve mirroring, this is a two way effect. By actively mirroring, you are initiating a body language communication and connection. By this, the other person will also turn his/her body more towards you, thus turning their attention more towards you as well.

The Unconscious Influence of Mirroring: The Power of Mimicking Other People’s Body Language

5. Keep your Fingers Relaxed and where the other Person can see them

Fingers are an important part of our body language. Though they take up little space in comparison to our entire body, their incredible flexibility and usefulness deems them vital to our physical functions, and are biologically neurologically advanced. As a result, any changes in our thoughts and emotions shows up quickly as physical reactions to our fingers. We hold a fist naturally when we need strength, and play with pens or our hair when we feel distracted. Fingers are the hardest body language to control as we ourselves do not notice their unconscious behaviors when we are distracted.

The best practice is to do two things: hold them purposely visible to ourselves and hold them in a position that it is relax but interlocked.

One extra positive body language tip? Don’t cross your arms! But you should know this already do you :)?

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